Coping with the diagnosis of special needs
Just Found Out
You have just
learned that your child has some very special needs. Maybe you have been
informed that your baby has Down Syndrome. Or that your preschooler is autistic,
or has some other medical condition. You may be pregnant and suspect, based on
test results, that your baby, still at the preborn developmental stage of his
or her childhood, may have a disability.
BOOM - what a shock!
Know that at this stage it
is completely normal to feel powerful emotions:
Heartbroken
It can be incredibly disappointing
to be hit with the devastating blow that your child isn't, or may not be, the
perfect being you imagined - even if you sort of expected this. You may not be
able to imagine ever being able to accept this. Intense crying can be an
expression of your dashed expectations.
Disbelief
Part of you can be saying,
"I don't believe it! It can't be! No way! There must be a mistake!"
You may feel that if everyone just stops talking about this, you will wake up
tomorrow and everything will be fine. At this stage you might feel numb,
feeling distant and disassociated as if you are feeling nothing.
Disoriented
Time can seem to be passing
by in a fog. Is it morning? Night? Mealtime? Your normal routine may seem
impossible or meaningless at this point of crisis. And you may not even care.
Devastated
Prospects for your child's
future - any your own - may seem haunting and bleak. "How can this happen
to me?" you may mourn. "How will I ever manage?" Raising your
child, which you looked forward to, may seem like an impossible obstacle in
light of his or her disabilities. And you wonder if your son or daughter will
eventually become independent - or if you will be stuck in a caretaking role
for the rest of your life.
"It's not fair!"
You may feel victimized at having your peace of mind rudely disrupted with the stark
new reality of something being wrong with your child. Because you did not ask
for this situation, it may feel as if life is victimizing you. With an absence
of choice, you have been shouldered with tremendous responsibility and serious
choices.
Traumatized
You may be unable to think
of any other matters. The only thing that feels important to you now is this
loaded piece of breaking news.
Any or all of these intense
feelings are normal at the acute stage of discovering that your child has, or
may have, a disability.
You have just
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You have just
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You have just
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